A Leader's Spouse and Family

Mark 3:24-25   If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand.  If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. 

I Timothy 3:2-5  Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task.  Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,  not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.  He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)

Not enough has been written about what goes on behind the scenes in the leaders home. However, might I suggest that more be written about the danger that goes unnoticed or unchecked. Today, I have two reminders for all leaders, but especially ministry leaders.

First, like-mindedness must permeate your home. 

Secondly, your home and family must be managed well.

In our passage from Mark, the teachers of the law had accredited Jesus' healing power to the "prince of demons", namely Beelzebub. Jesus' reply in our verse above spoke to the irony and impossibility of Satan being so effective if his own kingdom contained an equally strong view that apposed himself. Jesus then brings it down to our own level by repeating the lesson in regards to our own homes. The lesson here is that the homes of leaders must contain like-mindedness.

What goes on at home can make or break a leader.  Here are three things concerning the home that you might evaluate yourself or pass on to someone that may be helped by thinking through them.

1. Are you more interested in leading others than your own family? It is hard for us leaders to admit to but there are times when thinking about vision will consume our think time, and therefore inadvertently ignoring our home responsibilities. If our spouses aren't as excited about the vision as we are, spouses can become resentful regarding the back seat they find themselves in.

2. Spouses can feel robbed of value because the unexpected "cost" of leadership. Leadership in ministry always takes more time than what expected. If the spouse of the leader cannot support the extra time the leader will be away in extra meetings and such, things will become difficult at home. A few years ago we invited the wives to a leadership class for future elders. We invited them to help them understand the "costs" of eldership for their husbands and what the Bible required of their own character and practice. I can remember how helpful it was for them to understand the expectations of their husbands and themselves. It helped some of these leaders begin with a like-mindedness at home that was worthy of note.

Be sure your children are not in control of you!

3. The children of the leader is a reflection of the leadership of the family, and therefore an indicator of the leaders qualification to lead. Managing ones family household is a journey. Be sure your children are not in control of you. There will be many mistakes, Lord knows I have made them. However, when reviewed by others there should be a foundation of home management that overshadows some of the overt mistakes we all have made. Things "under control' should far outweigh the time when things are "out of control". Behavior that is "respectful" should far outweigh and overshadow the times they were not. Fill in the blanks with other pieces of home management. You will find that effective leaders have good things happening at home. The positives at home far outweigh the negatives. 

It has been 13 years since I have been called and committed to leadership. Within those years I can remember the times when I did not lead at home because I was so exhausted from leading others. During the last 10 years I have traveled overseas teaching in Africa 5 times with another scheduled for this November. I thank the Lord that my wife has never once complained about the "costs" of these trips or other "leadership expenses", but I know she could if she was not like-minded about how God is using me. 

Some of you out there have incredible noble thoughts and desires to participate in the advancement of the kingdom of God. However, what is needed to advance your leadership lies at home. Your family needs you and you need to lead at home first and foremost, ... then let God take the good that is going on at home and then use it to lead and bless others.

How about it? Is it time for a home improvement project?

A Better Leadership Definition

Those of you that have followed The Christian Leader or have received any emails from me know that I believed that “Leadership is the art and science of inspiring others to reach their full potential in the pursuit of a common vision”. I aspired to that definition of Dr. James Bultman for over 10 years.

A little more than a month ago I was on a golf trip. During that trip some of us began to describe what we believed leadership really was. During the discussion, one of my business friends said “A good leader gets people to do what they want to do, a great leader gets people to do what they need to do.”

Ever since that conversation I have considered that statement to test it against what I believed.  Since I believe that the core of leadership in church is the same as business, I wanted to see if this past the test of the life of Jesus Christ, and also if it fit into my business and leadership experiences. Within my review, I do feel Jesus did inspire people to do what they “need to do”. I also acknowledge that many times in my leadership experience I focused more on helping inspire people to embrace a “common vision” than I did inspiring people to do what “needed to be done”. That got me thinking. While I would attribute to the Lord for what I would believe are my leadership successes, there are those times where I have not been able to do that to everyone that I have led. Thinking about it more, it might also have led to allowing some mediocrity when it should not have been allowed. I now acknowledge that there will always be some that never agree strongly enough in the vision to work as hard as they should or do the things they should do.

While thinking about the above for weeks, I then found myself in a church service at a small church I love. The leadership of this church had just spent months pouring over where they were going for the future and had just completed the design of a new mission and vision statement. I wanted to hear the pastor preach on this so I attended one of the services to hear for myself.  The mission statement was nicely written and the pastor gave a good message about it. However, near the end of the message it was clear that the mission statement did not say it all. I remember him pausing and saying something to the effect of  "I believe in our mission but really do know one more thing, .... that at the end of the day ... we need to do what we must". It was a call to do what God says must be done, no matter what the vision said. When he said that, I believed it to be theologically true, true in my own spiritual experiences with God, consistent with my review of my friend's statement, and true as to what I need to do as a business leader. I now believe that it is even more true for a leader at some point be able to say "I gotta do, what I gotta do". I also beleive we need to be able to inspire others to do "what gotta be done".

In light of all of the above, and with two months of study, I now move forward with a newer revised definition of leadership. It now reads, "Leadership is the art and science of inspiring other to reach their full potential in the pursuit of doing what must be done".

I will have more to say about the application of this new definition. So today I must ask you three things.

1. What has God called and/or gifted you to do?
2. Who has He given you to help you do it?
3. What must you do next to get it done?

If you know the answers to these questions ... then go do it .. because you must.

Can All Leaders Sing?

I Corinthians 13:1b  ... but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If you have spent any time studying leadership it won't take you long to hear the expression, "Everyone is a leader".  Those who have spoken these words have noble intentions. They want to be an inspiration to people, especially if they are teaching a leadership class. By saying everyone is a leader, they hope to inspire people to be open to use a hidden talent, or underdeveloped gift. They want to help people position themselves for a discovery, and they hope that by telling them they are a leader, they can convince them to learn.

However noble, let us look at where these claims come from. I have heard this expression more in ministry circles than any other arena. Looking even closer, these are the churches who have had a growth curve that has put pressure on the current leaders, or are churches that have not grown. Those with growth curves see that there is so much to accomplish, know the growth curve cannot be sustained with the current leadership, and deep within their hearts are pleading for more people to step up to the plate and lead. Those without growth curves search for a reason for the lack of growth and sometimes come to the conclusion that more leaders are needed. In both situations, those with the responsibility of developing leaders know that they will get the excuse from people that "I am not a leader".  I would suggest to you that out of this fear, the false doctrine of "everyone is a leader" is embraced. It is easy to say, and creates an initial hope in people that is actually kind of fun for them to experience.

However, I believe it is quite damaging to the organization. Preaching that everyone is a leader is like another saying that "everyone is a singer".  Anyone who has hearing would agree that everyone is NOT a singer. We all have been near a person who thought they could sing, ... but were just making noise, annoying as a clanging cymbal. I feel sorry for some worship leaders who have to finally tell someone that wants to sing a solo they cannot.

That leads us to the nuances of the statement. In the same way everyone (with a voice) can sing, everyone does lead at some point. We all lead in the same way we "all teach". We all teach by living life, sometimes teaching people how to do things, and sometimes teaching people what NOT to do. We ALL teach, but we are NOT all teachers. Most can sing but we are not all singers, and we do lead but are NOT ALL LEADERS! As in our scripture verse above, we can begin with a basic legitimate instrument, and if improperly used, make only annoying noise. In the same way, people who are forced or convinced they can lead, but have no talent or giftedness can really make you cringe when you hear of some of the things they do.

In the introduction of my leadership seminars I try to inspire people by telling them that it is my hope they discover one of two things. I hope they discover how to be a better leader, ... if they are a true leader, OR I hope they discover that they are not a leader, to relieve them of the guilt of not leading. I then tell those who will discover they are not leaders that the seminar will not be a waste of their time. On the contrary, they will help their church or organization by not getting involved in leadership while learning how to pray and encourage those who should be. They will know better how to help a leader, or shepherd a leader, or teach a leader, ... and yes, even how to follow a leader ... depending on their own gifts.

In closing, please help the people you lead by setting many of them free from false expectations. Go back to the drawing board in your leadership development program, and focus on identifying and helping those who God is really calling to lead.

Because after all, ... all leaders can't sing.

What is Your Leadership Battle

References for This Lesson  1 Samuel 8  Hebrews 11:4

There is a popular book entitled Every Man’s Battle. It is a book about the sexual aspects of men, about their bodies and minds. Those of us men who have read it understand the battleground. Why? Because there is a common thread of sexuality found in most every man, at least in the most of the world. Thus, there is something about this battleground that is the same, no matter who you talk to.

Are you in the middle of a battlefield?

The same can be said of the battleground of leadership—it doesn’t change, even when you travel across the world. I have had the honor of taking four overseas leadership teaching trips to West Africa. Prior to my travel, I was trained to guard against bringing my Western culture into the teaching. However, what I have found is that the battleground overseas looks just like the battleground here in the United States. While I find variances in political structure, government, and the church, the most prominent world view of leadership still reigns: whoever has the fame, fortune, power, or position is in charge.

I realize that from a theological standpoint, what I just wrote is not very profound. We should not be surprised that the Devil and our own sinful nature share the same side of the battleground. What I am surprised at is at how many of us try to find some righteousness in every aspect of the world’s most prominent view.

Please bear with me for a moment. Can you find any righteousness in a desire for power? We could try to justify a desire for power by saying, “I could do more for God if I had more power.” Does that statement make this desire righteous? If God really needed our help, maybe. 

However, since God does not need any help in accomplishing what He has in mind, what righteousness can we add to what God has credited to us? Is it not by faith alone we are commended as righteous? Can we get more of it by holding on to a desire to get power to help him out?  I think not.

We Cannot Call Sin Righteousness

We must look past the pretty picture of the world that
sin sometimes create

Friends, please, we can’t take an attribute of the sinful nature and make even a fraction of it righteous.  When the Israelites demanded new leadership in the form of a king, they were hiding their rejections of God’s leadership by painting a pretty picture of what the world was doing in comparison to what Samuel’s sons were doing. It was a smoke screen. They were trying to justify their sinful desires, and when we seek power, we do the same thing.

I John 2:15-17 says, “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man, the lust of what he has and does –comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever” (NIV).

Painting a Picture that Looks Like Jesus, Not You

One might ask, “How do lead people toward a righteous but Big Vision but still attain righteousness? How do I develop a righteous Big Hairy Audacious Goal (BHAG) when I know it might result in a bit more power, a lot more fortune, or a higher position?”

My suggestion is this. Start by painting a picture of the end result or write a description of your preferred future. Share what you have drawn or written with some close, godly friends who can be honest with you. Then ask them this question, “What and who do you see in this?” The goal here is to paint a picture that looks like Jesus and not like you. You may say, “Come on, Ron, how can I do that if my BHAG is to build the tallest building in the world?” To that I say, trust me, for I and everyone will see who resides in the building, at what level, and for what purpose.

Food for Thought

·        
What are your Leadership Battles? (If you are a leader and a man, I know of at least one, probably two.)

Can I Trust You? You Trust Me?

Luke 16:10-12 "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else's property, who will give you property of your own?"

Because God trusts us, we should trust others.

I don't know about you, but I can be pretty skeptical. Even though I did not grow up in Missouri, sometimes you just have to show me. Part of my skepticism certainly comes from managing hundreds of people in the last 30 years. When you have managed people that long, you have heard pretty much every excuse in the book: why your employees were late for work, why something did not get done in time, why the work they performed was not up to your standard.

 While I certainly have become use to a certain level of baloney and inaccuracies, my trust level definitely correlates with the amount of “baloney” I hear—the more baloney I hear the less I am inclined to trust. One person I employed got the best of me, and before I realized that he was a habitual liar, he stole $40,000 from me. If it were not for the fact he left the title to his $25,000 Harley Davidson bike in the company vehicle, I would have not gotten anything back. I found out later that no one, not even his wife, trusted him with anything.


God Trusts Us—Through His Grace

 I guess I wonder if God trusts me, the wretched sinner that I am. How in the world did I get the privilege of leading the followers I lead the way I am in his eyes? Friends, you and I "who have been given a trust must prove faithful” (1 Cor. 4). So what came first—His trust or our faithfulness?

 Certainly this verse and in primary scripture for today’s lesson show that God is asking us to be faithful with the trust that He first gave us. But why would He do that? Oh that is right, only by His grace do I get the privilege of leading the followers I lead. It was by His grace He allowed me to start with the small stuff, with leading in a small way.

 He then continually combines His grace with some of my faithfulness and increases my leadership from time to time. It’s hard to imagine, but every time I turn around, there is His grace staring me in the face. The more you think about it, the more amazing it becomes. 

 "I try my best to begin our relationship trusting [people]. I only begin to mistrust them when they give me a reason to."

We Should Trust Others—By Starting with the Small Stuff

 Our scripture today tells us not only that trust came from God first but also how to identify who to trust. It tells us to start with the small stuff. Is that not the way we all began our leadership journey? Did not someone trust us enough to give us something little to lead?

 But what about the person we just met? Do we trust that person right off the bat? I may be skeptical, but when it comes to people, I try my best to begin our relationship trusting them. I only begin to mistrust them when they give me a reason to. I could not imagine the stress of mistrusting everyone till they proved themselves faithful!

 However, we also need be careful that we don’t give others a reason to mistrust us. True, some of us have moved on from the small aspects of leadership; we are now leading bigger stuff because God has entrusted us with bigger things. But how are we doing with the small stuff? I just attended a church conference, and I am fairly confident that a church leader there lied to me. Not a big lie, just a little one that he could use to cover himself. Friends, those of you who lead big stuff cannot forget to be faithful in the small stuff—all of time. After all, it’s through being faithful with the small stuff that you were entrusted with greater stuff.

 Let us eat our baloney for lunch, then, and not bring it into our lives.


Photo courtesy of genvessel.

Your Leadership Challenged Part III

Matthew 21:23  Jesus entered the temple courts, and, while he was teaching, the chief priests and the elders of the people came to him. "By what authority are you doing these things?" they asked. "And who gave you this authority? Numbers 14:2-4 All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, "If only we had  died in Egypt! ...Wouldn't it be better for us to go back to Egypt?" And they said to each other, "We should  choose a leader and go back to Egypt."

Today I will be finishing this series on authority. We will finish with a topic every leader will experience: Rebellious and Disobedient Dollowers (RDF's). 

When handling conflict, you can easily feel like you're acting all alone
with all eyes fixed on you, waiting to see what you will do.

Authority Part 1 and 2 were written to prepare you, to help you establish your mindset prior to handling RDFs. Why do you need this kind of preparation? When you reach the point of having to handle RDFs, everyone is waiting in the grandstands with their opinions of how you should perform. You cannot be ready for this phase of leadership if you have the wrong blend of positional authority and restraint. Remember, positional authority is something a leader must acquire. Christian leaders live by restraining the authority within while focusing on helping others. 

 (Need a refresher? Review parts One and Two)

Handling an RDF is Important to More than You and the RDF

 Why do I focus on the people in the grandstands and not the RDF at hand? If leadership is "the art and science of inspiring people,” what can be so inspiring about handling a rebellious person?

Friends, handling an RDF properly is one of the most inspiring things you can do—for everyone in the grandstands. There are a number of reasons why this is inspiring to people.

1. The rebellious person has probably impacted those in the grandstands with both his/her work and attitude, but the bystanders would rather not say anything because they don't want to deal with problem. Think I am wrong? Ask any organizational leader who loses an RDF, and he/she will tell you that you will find scores of people in the organization who affirm the benefits of the RDF’s departure only after he/she leaves.
2. The people in the grandstands are desperately hoping that you handle the problem well. Someday, they might be considered RDFs, and they want to see how fair the person they work for really is. 
3. People want to work for good leaders. Life is so much better when you enjoy your job and your leader. When your treatment of an RDF shows that you’re a good leader, your employees may feel more content with their positions.

An RDF is a Rebellious and Disobedient Follower

Handling Conflict

 So, how does knowing that your treatment of an RDF is inspiring to others help you actually deal with that RDF? You can start with remembering a simple truth: you’re being watched. Right now, the eyes of everyone in your organization are on you. What do you do next? Read our scripture verses above. What did Moses do? His situation was a very serious matter. Moses' followers wanted to replace him! How did Jesus respond to the challenge of His authority in the second scripture reference? Put in Jesus' circumstance, many of us would have liked to call down fire from heaven and say, "You guys got any other problem with me?"

 Along with a good written policy and process for disciplinary matters, you will find yourself dealing with each circumstance and each rebellious person differently. Maybe a few of you reading this are dealing with one right now. If you are, might I suggest that you review your written policy and align it with the following recommendations.

1. Be sure you have the positional authority to act. 
2. Review the blend of your leadership. Too much bossing around? Begin to focus on restraint. Pray for wisdom. 
3. Shape your response and actions in fair measurements, just as God did with Moses' RDF and just the way Jesus did through His response to those that questioned Him. 

 I hope I have delivered to you a perspective of handling conflict that can actually help you inspire those you lead. Treat your RDF's as an opportunity for their correction and for your growth as a leader!

Using Your Authority Part II

1 Corinthians  9:16  The people were amazed at his teaching, because he taught them as one who had authority, not as the teachers of the  law.

Both good and bad leadership can emerge from
the same soil.

Part 1 of our series on authority was an exploration of how Christian leaders acquire authority. In short, we learned the importance of both receiving authority in the proper manner and defining the scope of one’s authority. Part 1 was also about positional authority. It was not about leadership per se. It was about a foundational requirement for the soil from which good and bad leadership emerges. Unfortunately, this soil is a requirement for good leadership, but it can also be the breeding ground for poor leadership.


When you find yourself standing in the soil of authority as a positional leader, you must then decide (consciously or unconsciously) what your leadership will look like—Jesus or the world. Here is where some of you will struggle. Theologically, all of you should agree that Jesus had every possible spiritual gift, which means He is our perfect leadership model. However, many of you will look at His life and draw the conclusion that it displayed more of his gifts of teaching and healing than his gift of leadership. Because of this, you will tend to defer to a contemporary leader who has demonstrated some enormous accomplishment, leaning toward imitating whatever that person did. While I admit that this might have some value (Paul even exhorted men to "imitate" him), we must filter our behavior and practices through the life of Christ first. 

Jesus’ Life as a Model of Leadership

You might say that Jesus' life does not speak loudly on the topic of leadership because there are not enough examples of Jesus as the successful leader. Friends, if you have come to this conclusion, it is because we all have the tendency to look for the wrong examples. Might I suggest that the absence of certain behaviors in Jesus' life should speak to us as loudly as those He displayed? Look at our scripture verse. While it appears that Jesus was demonstrating His teaching gift at this time, ponder with me what He is teaching us about positional authority.

"The absence of certain behaviors in Jesus' life should speak to us as loudly as those He displayed."

Would you agree that we might conclude the following from this scripture?

1.  While being granted authority over all the earth, Jesus did not display the fact that He outranked everyone. 
2. The ultimate reason His authority was recognized was because of the times he used his other gifts, namely His teaching. While He was helping people understand, people began to recognize this as authoritative. 
3. The power/authority that Jesus displayed was distinctively different from anything people had ever seen or heard from their own leaders. 

Applying Jesus’ Leadership Model to Our Own Lives

What application to the use of authority can we learn from Jesus’ treatment of his authority and leadership? Consider these:

1. Don't walk around telling everyone you are the boss. Don't lead by intimidation. 
2. Try helping those under your authority to better understand the goals you have set, and once you’ve given this your best effort, then you can assess that understanding as well as goal accomplishment.
3. Don't assume that contemporary leaders are the ones to imitate. While what you see in public can be worth imitating, much of what goes on behind the scenes is not. Be very careful. 

I have communicated this before, but it cannot be repeated too often: Jesus' life on this earth was more a demonstration of restraint than any one of His other attributes or behaviors.

Think about that for a moment. Even if you believe that statement halfheartedly, you are on your way to imitating the leadership of Christ.

Getting Your Authority Part I

E∑¡Matthew 28:18-19 "Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit..."

In the midst of my study of Christian leadership I began to sense that I needed to help people understand authority in a more comprehensive way. For this reason, I will divide my thoughts on authority into multiple articles with this being Part I.

 While I wasn’t sure how much authority structure I would find in the life of Jesus, I went directly to the gospels to read and observe how Jesus used his authority. I was surprised when I read repeatedly that Jesus was “given” or “granted” his authority. In the sum of several passages, I found the specifics of the authority that was “given” to him. He was granted authority:

1. In heaven and earth – Matthew 28:18 
2. Over every power and authority – Colossians 2:9 
3. To forgive sins - Matthew 9:4 
4. To give eternal life to the ones the Father gave him – John 17:1 
5. Reign with all authority – I Peter 3:22 

Although I believe every word of scripture is important, I feel that when God repeats certain phrases, we should search for a special lesson. In pondering the importance of the Bible’s repetition of the phrase “given him” or “granted him,” I reflected on my own leadership life and remembered the day when being granted authority was so very important to me.

 Being Granted Authority Makes All the Difference

Have you been granted the authority that you take?

At age twenty-two, I received a promotion to plant manager. I was in a growing family business, and I really did work hard and love what I was doing. In my first few years of work, I gained experience in a variety of production positions and helped management with fixing and/or designing a multitude of pneumatic, electrical, and pipe fitting projects. While I felt I demonstrated management potential, I admit that my last name helped me in becoming plant manager of about 50 people.

However, after I was given my promotion, a strange thing happened. My superiors gave me the job but did not tell the employees. They just assumed everyone would fall into place under my young leadership. Guess what? That did not happen the way they expected. There were several employees who had worked for the family for 30 years, and not all of them were ready to follow me so quickly. In fact, one or two of them didn’t submit willingly. At best, it could be described as awkward submission.

Weeks later I, along with one senior supervisor, went to the family owners and described the problem. We told them that they needed to tell all the employees about the change in management. They were surprised, but they did call a company meeting and formally presented me as the employees’ new boss. From that day on, everyone knew that I had been given authority over them, and, immediately, the situation began to improve.

The Importance of Authority for Our Leadership

Friends, it does not matter how skillful you are or how much potential you have as a leader. You will never be able to lead effectively without this thing we call authority. If Jesus did not begin his leadership on earth without it, why should any of us think we can? In addition, authority will serve you well if it is given to you. If you try to “take it” or to use authority you do not have, it will be a thorn in your side.

"Friends, it does not matter how skillful you are or how much potential you have as a leader. You will never be able to lead effectively without this thing we call authority."

What other lesson can we learn from these passages? How about asking for and receiving clear and concise job descriptions that include specific language of who and what we have authority over? I believe the passages above clearly outline what authority the Father gave Jesus. However, many leaders fear job descriptions that are as specific as Jesus’ “job description.” I believe job descriptions need to be very specific about the scope of authority but not minute details of every task. Currently, most job descriptions are weak on authority and heavy on details.

Food for Thought

• How did you begin in your leadership? 
• Are you clear on what authority you have, and better yet, the authority you don’t have? 
• Who are the leaders who follow you? Have you been clear in what authority you have given them? 
• And finally, how about the rest of the followers? Does everyone understand your authority? If you have doubts, might I suggest you get to work?

Photo courtesy of Nick Sarebi.

Are You Arrogant, Confident, or Full of Faith

Today's Scripture References: Judges 6&7 Hebrews 11

Christ said much could be done with faith as small as a mustard seed.

Can you tell the difference between faith, confidence, and arrogance? The three may look similarly to the eyes of the outside observer, but they are so different in the heart of a leader. However, a few distinctions can help you determine which of the three applies to your character.

Faith

Reflect for a moment on Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (NIV). Faith is futuristic. It is means you have a “hope” and “certainty” about something. We cannot prove that we have faith because it is not something to be seen, touched, and easily diagnosed. But it certainly does impact our conversation and how we make decisions. Most importantly, others can identify when we have it and when we don’t.

Confidence

When we have confidence, we can usually trace it to something that happened in the past. Thus, confidence is easier than faith to “prove.” Not only can we see it, but confidence is something you can justify having because it comes from an act or event that can provide the proof.

Arrogance

My definition of arrogance is having “an overbearing and pretentious confidence.” Unlike faith and confidence, it communicates superiority.

 Using Faith & Confidence; Guarding Against Arrogance

 Now that you know what each of these terms mean and how they “look,” I challenge you to reflect and determine which term your followers see in you? Which word best describes you?

 Some time ago, a pastor and I were taking a walk, discussing the many issues impacting relationships in our church. During the walk I was sharing my perspective on a certain point, when the pastor asked me, “Ron, might it be a bit arrogant of you to say that?”

We must reflect carefully about whether our actions appear
arrogant to others.

 I can say I was quite stunned, to say the least. While the pastor who said this may not have used word the way he wanted to, I certainly knew that the true meaning of this term wasn’t flattering.

We finished our walk, and the discussion went well. However I went home that day with a heavy heart. That night in my quiet time, I searched my mind and every crevasse of my will and brain to see if I could find an arrogant piece of me, asking God to reveal it to me. At the end of a time of self-examination, I found myself clear of any conviction of the Holy Spirit in this area of my life.

 However, as I reflected on my life in an attempt to see why the pastor had thought my statement arrogant, it soon became apparent to me that I had acquired a high degree of confidence throughout my life, and the way I communicated my confidence bordered on the threshold of arrogance. At least, this is what it looked like on the outside. In addition, to this confidence, one of my stronger spiritual gifts is faith. The level of faith that I have is certainly a result of what God has done with me in the past. I don’t doubt His distinctive use of me in the past, and as a result, I have a high degree of faith about what the future holds.

 Guarding Against Arrogance

 Even though I don’t believe I was being arrogant, this experience reinforced the fact that I, and those of you like me, need to be careful. We need to be conscious of our audience and guard against our body language and speech becoming truly arrogant. I can’t help think of what Gideon’s soldiers saw in him as God pared their numbers down to 300 fighters. Somehow, I don’t think they followed him simply because Gideon appeared confident as he was telling them about a fleece getting wet and then dry. That does not drive 300 men to face what most would call certain death. No, it was Gideon’s great faith in God that inspired them to believe what he had come to believe—that he and his army of the faithful would prevail! The 300 did not follow him because he was arrogant; they followed him because of his confidence AND because if his faith.

Food for Thought

• Which one do you have the most of—faith, confidence, or arrogance? 
• Which one(s) will we bring to the office tomorrow?

Photos courtesy of Tibchris and Jacob Botter.

Let's Talk About Your Weakness

2 Corinthians 12:10 That is why, For Christ's Sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

God uses us righteously because of our weaknesses.

This is not an easy one for me because we cannot talk about your weakness until I talk about mine. I need to be transparent about myself in order to communicate to you how important it is to understand and acknowledge your weaknesses.


We can all take some comfort in knowing that sin and weaknesses are two completely different things, so when we talk about our weaknesses, we’re not talking about sin. We know God uses us in spite of our sin, but He uses us righteously because of our weaknesses.

There are those who say you shouldn’t waste your time on trying to improve your weaknesses. They say your time is better spent on strengthening strengths. When you listen to their reasoning, much of it makes a lot of sense. After all, we don’t want to be poor stewards of our time, do we? If the energy to improve to the next level of our weakness takes twice the energy and resources that it takes to improve to the next level of our strengths, why would we ever work on our weakness? Should ever we work on them? Hold that thought while I share three of my weaknesses: 

1. I am very weak at spelling, punctuation, and grammar. 
2. My memory of names is incredibly poor, to the extent of daily and weekly embarrassment. 
3.  High school is my highest formal education. 

Boasting in My Weaknesses

 In 2nd Corinthians 11:30, Paul tells us that he is willing to boast about his weakness. If you were me, would you boast about my weaknesses? Probably not. I am not sure I want to either, but I will try my best to boast, but to boast in the Lord.

 At the end of my last seminar, I asked folks to write me personally with any criticism and/or encouragements. I received both. One participant who was an experienced educator, self-described editor and passionate proof reader wrote to me with a quite long list of errors in my PowerPoint slide presentation. They were not evident to people who share my first weakness, but they were there nevertheless. 


I was sufficiently embarrassed, but I corrected every one of them that day, emailed her a copy of the corrections, and thanked her for her help. Because the pastor of that church was also an educator at a local college, you would think that this weakness of mine would destroy the reputation of Christ in me and render me useless in this particular venue. After all, Christ would not have had errors in His PowerPoint! It is only because of God’s grace that this did not happen. In fact, the pastor had the following to say about the seminar:

"I sincerely want to thank you for coming to Hillsboro (Ohio) last weekend. I would agree with others that you do sincerely possess a plethora of leadership gifts and a sense of how to communicate those gifts in ways that are encouraging and edifying to the individuals in the group as well as convicting and challenging to those (of us) who need to be challenged to change. I am also able to say with confidence that the principles you presented are not just theoretical or academic in nature. I have seen firsthand how you personally have applied and effectively put into practice those very same principles. In a day when charlatans seem to be multiplying by the truckloads, it is indeed refreshing to encounter someone who not only talks a good game, but lives it as well. Our leadership team is already making plans to implement the principles they learned from your visit."

Instead of scoffing at my errors, the pastor gave testimony of how God used me in his life and in the life of his church. Similarly, after my last E-leadership distribution, I received encouragement from a pastor who is a very gifted writer. He overlooked my form and encouraged me with his affirmation of the content.

God used my weakness to give American businessmen
a face in Sierra Leone.

In my first trip to Africa, I taught leadership at the Evangelical College of Theology in Sierra Leone, and, despite my weaknesses, at the end of the trip, I was told that I had transformed the students’ lives. How did God transform their lives? By providing me, an American businessman, to teach at their college. According to the students, there were few, if any, good businessmen left in Sierra Leone due to political unrest. The Sierra Leonean students could not imagine any difference with this American and were skeptical, if not totally benign to me, at first. But God did His work with the content of the teaching, which gave them a reason to think differently about the potential of their own business people. He erased their “prejudice.”

 Rising from the Foundation of Your Weaknesses

So how is God using me? From the foundation of my weaknesses, God is raising me up. From my writing weakness, he calls me to write; from a business occupation, He called me to teach; from the weakness of my education, He allows me to impact the lives of those who are educated. Therefore, I will praise God for my weakness, for “when I am weak, I am strong.”

 Food for Thought

You now know my weaknesses. What do you think? How much time should I spend on my weaknesses?

Is it now possible to talk about yours?


Photos courtesy of Jon Clegg and Seabamirum.

Getting Good Church Leaders

1 Timothy 3: 1-7 Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer,[a] he desires a noble task. (2) Now  the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable,  hospitable, able to teach, (3) not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of  money. (4) He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (5) (If  anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) (6) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. (7) He must also  have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap.

Church leaders have more bearing on the future of a
church than it's building.

How do you choose your church leaders? What do you expect of the leaders in your church? In Paul’s letter to Timothy, he certainly lays out the foundational character traits that God requires of those who hold the offices of elder and deacon. It is a common list of Christian character and life qualifications that you can look at in two ways.

Two Ways of Looking at the Church Leadership Job Requirements

At first glance, the bar might look a bit low, as these traits are really what every Christian should be striving for. If you take this position, you’ll quickly realize that the standards are the same for everyone in the church, producing a long list of qualified individuals.

On the other hand, the fact that Paul identified and listed these characteristics emphasizes the need for a solid pattern of righteousness in the life of an elder or deacon. Paul knew that we would not be able to judge a person’s heart. However, he also knew that we would see evidence of qualified leaders through the lives they lived. A developing, righteous church leader will soon admit that, in the depths of his spirit, he feels that he falls short. Therefore, it might seem strange or even contradictory that a self-admitting sinner can acquire a solid pattern of righteousness that would then qualify him for the position of elder or deacon. However, it is this very battle within a developing leader that points to his being qualified! It is that very level of humbleness that is a part of the whole of righteousness.

 "It is that very level of humbleness that is a part of the whole of righteousness."

My Experience as a Church Leader

I have served as elder now in two churches. The first one was in need of an elder, and I accepted the challenge as from the Lord. There was no self or public evaluation, no review, and no time period of testing. I was asked, I was placed on the slate, and I was voted in.

I was asked about everything from my walk with God
to my history of giving to the church.

However, when I was asked to consider serving as elder in the church that I serve in now, the process was much different. I was only asked to consider serving after someone nominated me. When I agreed, church leaders gave me a questionnaire comprised of about two dozen questions to answer. The questions were very detailed as to my walk with God, my history, my giving to the church, my work in shepherding others, and so on. Church leaders also contacted and interviewed my wife. I was given a written theological exam that had to be completed in one hour with no references and no "study Bible.” I was then interviewed for one hour by the entire pastoral staff along with other lay leaders. Then my name was presented to the congregation for a time of testing. Only after this multi-month process was complete did the congregation vote to accept me as an elder.

I need to be honest with you. I almost declined finishing the process because I thought it "over the top.” After all, I participated in three Pastoral ordination counsels myself, and I did not see any difference between the bar that was set for me and the one that was set for pastors. For some time after becoming an elder, I even began to plan, to myself, when I would take the initiative in introducing a change in the process.

Raising the Bar

That day never came. While we as elders continue to fine tune how this process is implemented, the list I included above is intact. And now, years later, I embrace that the process. I embrace it because of the quality of the group of men that I serve with. The importance of character is revealed when you, as a leader, wrestle with fellow leaders over church matters, large and small. Your personal interests, your value of money, your weaknesses, your love for God, your love of people—all will be revealed, especially inside the board room.

Paul raised the bar, not only to appoint good people, but also to appoint people who can stand the tests of each other, thus maintaining unity in the church. Some would criticized these kinds of processes by saying such they are designed to control, issued only to "weed in" friends of the current leadership. Friends, do not believe this lie, for even if it were true, such leadership tests will ultimately produce leaders who, like Paul, will labor for Christ and His church, not man.

Food for Thought:

• Do your church elders/leaders have a "bar exam"?
• Did you pass it?
• Can you?

Photos courtesy of GlassSunrise and RubberBullets

Did You Get Your Wisdom?

Proverbs 2:1-6 My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

Did You Get Your Wisdom

In 1994, my life was changed. For 40 years, I had lived in Christian circles, and I had regularly shared the spiritual food of others. However, I had never regularly fed myself with time alone with God, time that He could use to speak to me and shape my life. Sure, I found myself leading a prayer and reading scripture once in a while, but never regularly, and never with great purpose. In fact, that day in 1994 when I first sat before God with the intention of listening to Him, I found myself totally insufficient before Him, knowing that what I was in for was beyond the human experience, far beyond what I could ever understand.

Don’t be confused; I certainly didn’t feel like I was stupid or that I lacked common sense. On the contrary, not only had I often commented that I thought common sense should be a course in college, but I also thought that I had enough common sense to not only pass a class but also to earn a degree! Up to that point, I had met many educated people who had no common sense. However, the insufficiencies that God revealed didn’t have anything to do with worldly wisdom. Instead, I knew I was entering a realm beyond the “wisdom of the world,” yet I could not even remember that Paul had already made the distinction between the “wisdom of the world” and the wisdom that comes from the Spirit of God. 

Wisdom is a Process

Today I can still remember minute details about the day I first allowed God to impact me through studying his word. It was late at night, and I was sitting in my family room with the Bible before me. Here, I first subjected myself and my understanding to God. It was at this first moment of subjection that I asked Him for wisdom, for the wisdom to understand His Word and His ways. During the course of the next year of Bible study, I found the scripture verses above. They became the light for the life I have before me. They are still the underlying reason for “the art and science of leadership,” for in these verses I found one of the most important components of the wisdom of God, a component that many leaders consider a waste of time. I found out that wisdom is a process, and the process begins with some “ifs.”

"[Today's scripture verses] became the light for the life I have before me."

1. If we accept God and His commands by truly pursuing His will, not our own, we will receive wisdom.
2. If we ask for it boldly through “calling out” or “crying aloud,” we will receive wisdom.
3. If we look outside ourselves, seeking wisdom as if it were silver or other treasure, we will receive wisdom. 
4. If we search for it with intensity, like we would search for hidden treasure, we will receive wisdom.

The Process is Never Complete

Many people believe that wisdom is something you simply receive and hang on to, something that is sufficient in and of itself and needs no further refinement. People who believe this way may cite as evidence the fact that they have witnessed those who can deliver wisdom “on the spot.” Can you find wisdom without a process? Surely you remember Solomon, who, on the spot, used his wisdom to identify the real mother among two feuding women. Yes the “on the spot” delivery of wisdom was real in this case. You can also acknowledge that some are given the gift of wisdom. However, might I exhort to all who read this that the delivery of wisdom is always preceded by process? It was with Solomon prior to his judgment before the women, it always has been with me, and it will always be for you.

Leaders, don’t miss out on the search for wisdom. You can’t live without it.


Photos courtesy of Rushay and DamienHR.