Getting a Teammate to Leave

Acts 15:36-39 And after some days, Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are." Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylisa and had not gone with them to the work. And there arose a sharp disagreement, so they separated from each other.

Let me begin by saying that I long for the day when God will move people from one place to another because:

1. Their personal growth (either spiritual or skill) has been accomplished and they are now prepared for their next assignment.  
2. The purpose for their work within the team has been accomplished.
3. The celebration of one or both of the above is a good thing.

Often, a leader's exit isn't as celebratory as the organization makes it look.

I am sad to say that, after over 20 years in ministry and work, I am straining to remember an experience like this. While I certainly have experienced public celebrations of people "moving on," most times I am privy to what has gone on behind the scenes. I know that everyone is just trying to put a good face on a problematic set of events. Now I know that this is sometimes inevitable, but does it always have to end like this? I lament over this situation every time I see or experience it.

We Can't Use Scripture as a Scapegoat
 

I know of one pastor with whom I served who used the scripture above to justify his benign response to another leader's leaving his ministry. He continued to refer to this scripture multiple times, over many leaders' exits. Instead of looking inward for the ultimate reason he was loosing his leaders, he found comfort in the fact that the apostle Paul got into a disagreement with Barnabas. He, like many pastors, thinks that somehow this is how God really designs how He moves people around. I would challenge anyone who puts stock in this kind of thinking.

"While God does use negative events to accomplish His purposes, He did not design things this way." 

While God does use negative events to accomplish His purposes, He did not design things this way. In reality, He is subjecting Himself to use man's inevitable sin. While many, if not most, pastors would agree with this theology, most would rather connect with the behavior of Paul and Barnabas. It is just easier and takes less time. Even so, there will come a time in your leadership life when it will become evident that a change is needed on your team. 

When to Know If a Change is Needed

There are two distinct kinds of circumstances in which you may need and be able to affect personnel change.

1. You have authority over the person. This is hired staff in churches and employees in business.
2. The people are volunteers. They can be your equals in authority as volunteer teammates, OR they are followers of your established and assigned leadership.

Each of these situations calls for a unique set of behaviors by their leader. However, might I suggest two courses of action that you can take at the beginning of each case.

1. Plan on taking more time than you would like to address the situation. Then figure on doubling that. 
2.  Focus on the person's strengths and gifts. In most cases, the problem is that the person's strength is not being used or just can't be used to its fullest potential.

When the leader and the person in question come to agree on the use of strengths and gifts, only then can a good plan of separation and celebration be implemented. If you do the above, I believe you will rarely have to "fire" someone, not even mentally. Sometimes, terminating someone is the only choice. However, don't terminate someone to feed your need to demonstrate your power and authority. Your sinful nature might celebrate, but only for a few days. 

"When the leader and the person in question come to agree on the use of strengths and gifts, only then can a good plan of separation and celebration be implemented."

Help Others Develop to their Full Potential
 

Some time ago, a certain team called me to help them through a problematic situation. The more I studied the problem and talked with participants, the more evident it became that one member was not a good fit. That person had godly intentions but just did not fit the environment. 

Instead of simply recommending this person's dismissal, I met with the person several times and coached the person through their perspective and beliefs about the organization's needs. Eventually, this person concluded that moving on was necessary, knowing that their expertise was not going to be used to it fullest potential. 

Do you have someone that is not working out well? You trying to develop a plan for their exit? Try the approach above and see if you both can "celebrate" in a godly way.

Maybe even Jesus would put a good face on that.

What is Your Leadership Battle

References for This Lesson  1 Samuel 8  Hebrews 11:4

There is a popular book entitled Every Man’s Battle. It is a book about the sexual aspects of men, about their bodies and minds. Those of us men who have read it understand the battleground. Why? Because there is a common thread of sexuality found in most every man, at least in the most of the world. Thus, there is something about this battleground that is the same, no matter who you talk to.

Are you in the middle of a battlefield?

The same can be said of the battleground of leadership—it doesn’t change, even when you travel across the world. I have had the honor of taking four overseas leadership teaching trips to West Africa. Prior to my travel, I was trained to guard against bringing my Western culture into the teaching. However, what I have found is that the battleground overseas looks just like the battleground here in the United States. While I find variances in political structure, government, and the church, the most prominent world view of leadership still reigns: whoever has the fame, fortune, power, or position is in charge.

I realize that from a theological standpoint, what I just wrote is not very profound. We should not be surprised that the Devil and our own sinful nature share the same side of the battleground. What I am surprised at is at how many of us try to find some righteousness in every aspect of the world’s most prominent view.

Please bear with me for a moment. Can you find any righteousness in a desire for power? We could try to justify a desire for power by saying, “I could do more for God if I had more power.” Does that statement make this desire righteous? If God really needed our help, maybe. 

However, since God does not need any help in accomplishing what He has in mind, what righteousness can we add to what God has credited to us? Is it not by faith alone we are commended as righteous? Can we get more of it by holding on to a desire to get power to help him out?  I think not.

We Cannot Call Sin Righteousness

We must look past the pretty picture of the world that
sin sometimes create

Friends, please, we can’t take an attribute of the sinful nature and make even a fraction of it righteous.  When the Israelites demanded new leadership in the form of a king, they were hiding their rejections of God’s leadership by painting a pretty picture of what the world was doing in comparison to what Samuel’s sons were doing. It was a smoke screen. They were trying to justify their sinful desires, and when we seek power, we do the same thing.

I John 2:15-17 says, “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man, the lust of what he has and does –comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever” (NIV).

Painting a Picture that Looks Like Jesus, Not You

One might ask, “How do lead people toward a righteous but Big Vision but still attain righteousness? How do I develop a righteous Big Hairy Audacious Goal (BHAG) when I know it might result in a bit more power, a lot more fortune, or a higher position?”

My suggestion is this. Start by painting a picture of the end result or write a description of your preferred future. Share what you have drawn or written with some close, godly friends who can be honest with you. Then ask them this question, “What and who do you see in this?” The goal here is to paint a picture that looks like Jesus and not like you. You may say, “Come on, Ron, how can I do that if my BHAG is to build the tallest building in the world?” To that I say, trust me, for I and everyone will see who resides in the building, at what level, and for what purpose.

Food for Thought

·        
What are your Leadership Battles? (If you are a leader and a man, I know of at least one, probably two.)

Is Yours a Voice of Leadership?

2 Samuel 5:2 In the past, while Saul was king over us, you (David) were the one who led Israel on their military campaigns. And the LORD said to you, "You will shepherd my people Israel, and you will become their ruler." John 10:2-4 The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.

Finding some reference to a shepherd's qualities in a secular book on leadership today would certainly be an anomaly. Most would tend to reserve the acts of shepherding to the church or even to just a pastor. Many would say that shepherding is for the spiritual world, not for the trenches of the business world or even the political arena.

However, look at our text today from 2 Samuel. It certainly reflects an “ordination” of a “political leader” as a shepherd of the Lord.

Business Leaders as Shepherds

The shepherd example applies to business leaders too.

Interestingly, many if not most references to shepherding apply to the leaders of all people groups, not just those under the care of the priests or religious leaders. Many years ago, this came to my attention during a phone call between myself and key leaders in the company I owned. A few weeks before this phone call, I had been studying the book of John in my quiet time and had spent time pondering our scripture reference from John.

 The phone call that I am referring to happened a few weeks later while I was on vacation. It is worthy to note that when I go on vacation, I seldom called the office. Right or wrong, I believe that if a company cannot run without me for a week or two, then I am not a very good leader. I told my key leaders not to call me unless the place was burning down--and they didn’t call. I was blessed by key leaders who took that as a challenge. They did a great job, and I enjoyed my time away far more as a result.

There was that one time, though, that I broke my rule. For some reason, I know not why, I just felt the need to call in on one of my vacations. So I did and found myself talking with one of my key leaders. I asked how things were going, and he said "OK." There was a slight hitch in the way he said OK, though, so I prodded a bit. I remember him telling me a little as possible, trying not to ruin my vacation. After we talked a bit, I asked to be transferred to another key leader. I repeated my greeting and received the same hitch in the response. This was repeated with a third key leader. In each case, the more I talked, the better they felt. Each call ended with a really good goodbye.

A Leader's Voice

I never did get the details of all the problems, nor did I provide a profound solution to their problems. It was not until I hung up from the third leader that I came to realize that the sound of my voice made a positive impact with each leader. The moment I sensed the depth of that fact, the passage from John came alive in my business life. From that day on, I felt a new sense of what being a shepherd leader feels like. And from that day on, I pondered my shepherding responsibility toward my unbelieving employees.

It is here that I must admit another weakness of mine. My voice does not always bring peace to people. In fact, when I am in the midst of debate, my voice level rises. I do not intend for it to do so, and many times I don’t even realize it--but it does. In certain situations I need help to lower my voice to the level of others involved. It is interesting that the same key leaders who heard me raise my voice in the past were comforted by that same voice during the phone call.

What impact does the sound of your voice have on those you lead? Is it reassuring, or does it add to the tension? One way to enhance your leadership is to ponder the impact of your voice. Take note of how it sounds and at what level. Be assured that there are sheep who get out of line and need to hear some passion in your voice level. But ponder both sides of this tool God gave you.

Our voices should improve our leadership, not hold it back.

The Death of a Leader

Deuteronomy 34:5-8 And Moses the servant of the Lord died there in Moab, as the Lord had said. He buried him in Moab, in the valley opposite Beth Peor, but to this day no one knows where his grave is. Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone. The Israelites grieved for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days, until the time of weeping and mourning was over.

A few weeks ago a leader died in Burnsville, Minnesota. His name was Bob Emanuelson. Bob was a godly man with a godly wife. The two of them raised 6 children during the 70’s and 80’s and, like many parents, had to deal with the challenges of these times. Bob was an even-tempered, kind, and loving person. He told his kids and grandchildren, “I not only love you, but I like you.” Bob was a knowledgeable and skilled businessman. He was an avid fisherman, loving his lake like it was one of his offspring. He gave much of himself to the church as well. At the ripe old age of 81, God called him home. 

"Oh that we might be mourned like Moses--And Bob."

I knew Bob for 40 years yet I only saw him occasionally when our family ties would bring us together at Bob’s family cabin in northern Minnesota. Years ago, my sister married Bob’s son, and through this marriage I occasionally had time to talk with Bob when our paths would cross up north. 

"I never knew a man who listened as well as Bob did, and who, at the same time, was so interesting to listen to. What a gift!"

Yet, even though I did not see him often, I cherished the times I got to talk with him. Why? Because listening to him was so interesting. Even if the subject was something as boring as what lure he used to catch big walleyes, he had an incredible ability to draw every listener into the subject at hand with his own stories and how he chose to tell them. Yet in the end, his interest in what others had to say dominated the direction of the conversation. I never knew a man who listened as well as Bob did, and who, at the same time, was so interesting to listen to. What a gift!

The Legacy of a Leader

Even though distance often makes it legitimately impossible for us to attend loved ones’ funerals, when Bob died, there was no deciding on whether or not to go. We drove the 400 miles to Bob’s wake and funeral. At the end of the evening of the wake, an unusual thing happened. Bob’s wife, their children, most of their 29 grandchildren and 21 great grandchildren, extended family and some friends formed a circle, and for over one hour, they gave testimony to him as a father, a grandfather, a friend and a husband. Everyone had a eulogy that needed to be expressed. There were many tears and laughter in this celebration of his earthly life. The celebration continued the next day, when at his funeral, hundreds came to pay their respects.

I know that Bob was not a “Moses.” He did not lead tens of thousands of people to a promise land. However, Bob was a leader, a family model, still guiding his family through their grief over him in the last weeks of his life. One day, not knowing if he had days or weeks to live, he ask one of his sons if the son was going to be OK. Bob thought of others until the day he died. While Moses’ weaknesses were written for all to see, Bob’s weaknesses remain unknown to me. God called Moses home when his strength still remained. Bob’s strength slowly escaped from his body till he died. However, I sense that even now, about 30 days later, memories of his leadership still remain a model for even a distant friend like me to covet.

What Will Our Leadership Legacy Be?

Friends, how long will our leadership be missed and mourned? 3 days? 30 days? Years? Will our leadership even be missed and mourned, or will some celebrate the absence of our lording over them?

Oh that we might be mourned like Moses—and Bob.

When Leaving, Take the High Road

Proverbs 16:16 The highway of the upright turns aside from evil; whoever guards his way preserves his life.

When a leader comes to the conclusion that he or she must leave a workplace, church, or organization, it can be one of the most difficult times in that leader’s life. Far too often, the leaving is a result of disunity instead of a celebration of some sort of spiritual or professional accomplishment. I yearn for the day when we leaders can be routinely sent off to God's next assignment with mutual encouragement, not frustration or regret. However, that doesn’t happen often. For this reason, I am going to share with you some tips regarding how you can leave when things on your team are not well. 

"I yearn for the day when we leaders can be routinely sent off to God's next assignment with mutual encouragement, not frustration or regret."

1. Tell the truth in love.
2. Don't revile (speak abusively) about any person or organization.
3. Let others decide on their own what they must do.

Telling the Truth

Telling the truth is not easy. It is so much easier to lie, or to tell a half-truth. In doing so, folks can bypass the stress of potential relational conflict. The problem is that when you lie, you forfeit growth opportunities that come from the conflict of completely working things out. When you commit to tell the truth, it should cause you to examine any personal offense that you are experiencing because of the conflict to determine if, in fact, it is worth verbalizing. If it is not, then you should re-evaluate why you think you must leave. Maybe you shouldn't leave. Maybe you should just overlook these issues and stay.

Avoiding Reviling   

Secondly, many of us feel that we need some sort of validation or sympathy from others when we leave. Therefore, falling into temptation to cultivate those feelings isn’t very hard. Indeed, in order to get validation and sympathy, some turn to bashing their bosses, their co-workers, or even their church and its members.

Reviling your former boss or team members will only satisfy the flesh in us for a few moments. If there is any fruit of the Spirit in us at all, regret will follow our actions. Sometimes regret begins within weeks; sometimes it takes years, but it will follow. Once regret gets a hold of you, it is really hard to shake loose. The longer it takes to say we are sorry, the longer regret has its way with us.

Letting Others Make Decisions

Finally, don't rally the troops around you, especially if you are leaving a ministry or team at church. While there are biblical reasons to rally others along side of you, I have yet to hear of any church split over an essential of the Christian faith. I never have heard of a church fight over whether or not Jesus is the Son of God, nor if he died for our sins, nor if he really rose from the dead. Usually groups will leave the church over relational issues/ And of then these relational issues result from the inability people’s inability to discuss and debate without a real desire for God’s wisdom.

Eleven years ago, I left a church over a very serious, overt manipulation by the senior pastor. I loved that church—I still do. The majority of my spiritual growth happened at that church. However, God used that pastor's sin issue to launch a new chapter in my life. I privately told him the truth; I never spoke harshly of him since then, and did not encourage anyone else to leave, even though this was hard to do when the phone kept ringing at my home.

Years later, that pastor became terminally ill. He let very few people visit him, keeping even his own elders at bay. I asked him if I might visit him before he died, and to everyone’s surprise, he agreed.

I had a wonderful time with him over lunch. At that lunch, he lamented where things had gone wrong and apologized to me in his own special way. I still remember how his face lit up after I told him not to worry about the past, that God had provided me with another ministry to lead. I vividly remember how happy he was to hear that. One of the last things he said to me was that he was grateful that I had “taken the high road” when I left.

"I still am cognizant that the high road is not an easy road. It is a hard road."

Friends, while I don't have any regrets about how I left that church, I still am cognizant that the high road is not an easy road. It is a hard road. It is not very wide. Our flesh and the devil are partners, and they love to try to run us off this road.

So if you must leave, guard your way, and keep both hands on the wheel.

When Should Leaders Leave

Matthew 10:5, 11-14 These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions... "Whatever town or village you enter, search for some worthy person there and stay at his house until you leave. As you enter the home, give it your greeting. If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town."

The way we leave is part of how we strive to imitate Christ.

One of the most difficult times in a leader's life is the day that he or she begins to feel the need to change jobs or attend a different church. If you have experienced this personally, you can testify to how hard it was for you and your family. Generally, the days leading up to that first day, the day when you have the first inkling of a thought about leaving, have already delivered a level of stress. Add this stress to the thought of separation from friends and co-workers, and you can find yourself in a deep pit of depression and loneliness.

There is no doubt that the Bible instructs us to persevere. The word "persevere" implies that you will experience many forms of stress. This stress comes because living the Christian life is not easy, and God calls us to be strong and to practice great endurance.

Does God Condone Our Stress?

However, this exhortation would be incomplete without a picture of what God really wants for us. Does He want us to have a life of stress and trouble? If you’ve been doubting this, just look to the book of Ecclesiastes. In this scripture, which is most likely Solomon's public debate with himself about the meaning and purpose of life, He concludes with God's purpose for us: to fear God and obey His commands. In fact, Solomon notes that “this is the whole duty of man.” In addition, he repeats three times in this book how joy and contentment work together, and how that coalition is expressed in our lives.

One of these verses is Ecclesiastes 5:18 (TNIV version):

Changing jobs can lead to other stressful life circumstances.

“This is what I have observed to be good: that it is appropriate for people to eat, to drink and to find satisfaction in their toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given them-for this is their lot.”

The word “toilsome” implies the need for perseverance while “satisfaction” represents joy. This ecclesiastical duty of man is a great foundation to use when determining whether or not to “move on.” In addition, a closer look at our earlier scripture reference from Matthew gives us some specific clues regarding how and when a leader should consider leaving. (Please keep in mind that this article is for advanced Christian Leaders who, by God's grace, have confidence of a kingdom purpose for their lives). From my experience and study of scripture, I believe we can pinpoint four steps in this process of “leaving” that come from Jesus himself as He instructed his disciples.
 
Four Steps to Leaving From Jesus’ Example

Be sure you have the authority to do and say what you say and do. Jesus begins this chapter in Matthew by giving his disciples the power and authority to preach and heal. He tells them to take no money, for he wants them to depend on those they minister to for care. Even in the midst of stress, you need to make sure that God has granted you the authority to do what you are doing or want to do. If there are any doubts, start over.
 
Make sure your work, message, and/or ministry conform to Scripture and have a history of bearing fruit. Don't be so impressed with yourself that you think your work and/or message is good in and of itself. Look at the fruit of your work and/or message. Make sure that fruit is good.
 
You should leave when you are sure no that one is listening anymore. Jesus did not expect his disciples to stay and preach to a brick wall. If no one listens, Christ tells us that it is time to leave. In this case, it is time to fulfill your kingdom purpose elsewhere.
 
When you go, go quietly and go professionally. Our exits must reflect the "innocence" of Christ, so go like a "dove.” If you leave your church, make sure you don't cause disruption. If you leave your work, comply with any commitments or promises you made when you arrived before you walk out the door.
 
Friends, moving on is very hard. When must you go? I cannot tell you. However, a short summary of leaving wisdom would include the following:
 
Seek out God's word and purpose for your life.
 
Persevere as long as you can.
 
Leave when you know it is a must.
 
I hope you find satisfaction in your toil whether or not you must leave.

Photo courtesy of WoodleyWonderWorks.

Are You an Unhappy Leader?

Ecclesiastes 1:12-14 I, the teacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men! I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

"I have seen all things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless,
a chasing after the wind" (Ecc. 1:12-14).

Recently, in my devotions, I read the scripture above and pondered Solomon's dilemma, which has to do with the unhappiness that accompanied his great wisdom. Solomon had been given a gift that most men and women would sacrifice much for. Yet he continues to lament his gift by saying,

"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief” (18). 

He continues reflecting in chapter 3:17:

“So I hated life because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me." 

 Friends, the reality is that happiness is something that comes apart from wisdom.

Solomon subsequently came to this conclusion:

"A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?” (Ch 2:24)

The verse above made me reflect on my own past, my life in the mid 1990's. I wrote the following in 1996 for a small publication in Hobart, Indiana.

DATE: Sometime in November, l994
TIME: 11:00 P.M. to midnight
PLACE: Our kitchen
PRESENT: Just me

Our kitchen had only one light on, a dim one at best. I've sat and gazed out our window here before; thinking about problems at work, what we wanted to buy next, how to get ahead. After all, if I could figure it all out and follow through on a few scenarios, I'd be a happy man. RIGHT?! 

This time was different. My thoughts were not on work or what I wanted to buy. My thoughts were on me. I've lived more than half of an average man's life and have not found happiness. Why haven't I? I have three beautiful children, which so far are better than I ever was. I've been married 20 years now without any problems to speak of. I go to church all the time. Financially we are not in need. And the future looks bright. So why am I not happy? I sat there and thought. What am I missing? 

I have a cassette radio on my night stand, and for the last couple of years, I have listened to four or five tapes while trying to get to sleep at night. One of those tapes is Pastor Chuck Wheeler's personal testimony. This tape (which I've heard over 50 times) tells of his personal test of Bible reading (try reading for 30 days and see what happens). Sitting there in my kitchen I remembered his words, and I thought, "Should I try this? Why? My parents read the Bible to us all the time, I grew up in a Christian school and had Bible class every day, and I even read at the dinner table once in a while." As I finished the cigarette I was smoking, I looked at the drawer of my kitchen table. I pulled it open and stared at the Bible that was there. Should I or shouldn't I?

It is now more than a year and a half later and I'm still reading at least two times a week (more when our small group material goes fast). I shouldn't say reading; I should say studying. I spend about an hour by myself after everyone is in bed and have found it to be the most satisfying time of the week. God has used this time to reveal many things to me that I would not have known or understood. Nine months ago He helped me stop smoking. Above all, I've found in His word what I was looking for--happiness. I found it in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ through quiet time and His word.

Do I still think about work? Do I still think about things I would like to have? Sure. But now these things are not the priority of my life. Now I feel I can wait until the Lord reveals how He wants me to run the business, and when, if at all, He allows me to enjoy certain earthly pleasures.

Have you ever thought my thoughts? Are you really happy, or are you faking it?

It has been 15 years since the above experienced. Has anything changed, you ask? Yes it has. I have found my involvement in ministry and life so mentally exhausting that I find it hard to study His word; thus, I am not as happy as I should be.

Can you relate?

Grooming Your Replacement

There will come a point in your life when you will have to choose whether or not you are willing to take an initiative in reproducing yourself. Although some leadership trainers highlight this aspect of reproduction or multiplication, we all know some of us would cause more problems if we multiplied our leadership practice. Thus, before we multiply, we must first evaluate ourselves to determine whether or not it would be useful to have more than one of us around! 

"Before we multiply, we must first evaluate ourselves to determine whether or not it would be useful to have more than one of us around!" 

Might I suggest a slight difference between multiplying ourselves and helping to groom another leader? While I might be splitting hairs, I would encourage the “grooming grammar” instead of the reproduction and/or multiplication terminology. When we think of reproduction or multiplication, we tend to think of training someone to be just like us. We might end up teaching them to do exactly what we do, and this could be a scary thought for some followers!

TCL’s Leadership Development Plan

"I began to refrain from using the manager
mindset of "My way or take the highway.
When people got stressed, I began
to help them work through their problems."

One way to stay on the right track is to be strategic about your own development so you can help others. While it is simple to say you should groom your leaders to be more like Christ, diversity in leaders’ methodologies with regard to business and church organizations can make it heard to determine where to start. TCL’s plan has three phases:

1. Explore your leadership philosophy.
2. Study the Bible’s leadership theology
3. Develop a Biblical methodology.

Exploring and Studying
 
Back in 1980’s, as a young manager of about 50 workers, I sat down at my desk one day and pondered why I had such a high turnover rate among my employees. While I had terminated some, many just stopped showing up. At that time, I was a Christian, but I was very spiritually immature; I still remember one defining moment that served to boost my maturity, the moment when I realized that the problem was actually me.

Because of this, I changed my methodology. I began to refrain from using the manager mindset of “My way or take the highway.” When people got stressed, I began to help them work through their problems. If they wanted to bail, I asked them to reconsider, and I even suggested that they take a day off to make a good decision. This one simple change began to transform what people thought about me and in the level of the work they did. I now know it had something to do with patience and grace!

Hopefully, most of you are past the spiritually immature stage. However, some of you may not be. Spiritually unready people, who have a Donald Trump methodology like I use to have, I say that it is time to change. Realize where you are at and commit to grow through your own personal Bible study. Above all, be patient, and learn about leadership from God. You will know when to proceed to the next step and then into the grooming process.

Even if you are spiritually ready, there are reasons why we do not groom others.

1. We are afraid that the person we are grooming may do our jobs better than we can do, and we might loose our jobs. 
2. We have no idea that God wants to give us something bigger than what we are already doing. 

I would suggest that these reasons are not because we are spiritually weak. I would suggest that they are the result of poor leadership theology. These attitudes say something about how you believe God treats his leaders. When you don’t worry about losing your job and are readying yourself for the next assignment God is preparing for you, your theology is solid.

"It should be a relief to know we don’t have to reproduce ourselves. We just need to groom our replacements to lead like Christ!" 

 Developing a Solid Spiritual Methodology

The third phase of TCL’s leadership grooming plan is to groom your replacement with solid Biblical methodology. Now that I have studied the theology of leadership, I can better groom another leader by explaining what I learned in the 80’s about grace in managing people. I could not do that in the 80’s because I did not completely know what I was doing. 

Finally, it should be a relief to know we don’t have to reproduce ourselves. We just need to groom our replacements to lead like Christ! Many of you should set aside your fear and start doing that right now.

Oh Lord, It's Hard to be Humble

Numbers 12:3 Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth. Luke 14:8-10 When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, do not sit down in a place of honor, lest someone more distinguished than you be invited by him....But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you, 'Friend, move up higher.' Then you will be honored.

Do you remember that song by Mac Davis? It began like this:

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way.

I can't wait to look in the mirror cause I get better looking each day.

To know me is to love me I must be a hell of a man.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble but I'm doing the best that I can.

Something tells me that Mac Davis was not singing this to our Lord, describing his struggle. Nor do I know if Davis felt bad about his lack of humility, if he was indeed singing about himself. I do remember seeing video of him singing this song, and I remember the smile on his face as he made light of the irony of pride in singing it. Either way, the words are a magnet to our flesh. How can we tell if we really are stuck in this mud?

Pride Vs. Confidence

First, let us not confuse pride with confidence. You need confidence as a leader, and the people you lead need to see that to believe in you and your vision. If they don't sense you are confident, they will not follow you anywhere but very safe places. However, God calls leaders to unsafe ventures that require faith in Him. Godly confidence comes from God repeatedly demonstrating His favor on our ventures when we proceed with faith and confidence in HIM.

Don't confuse humility with confide

An example of this is Gideon, a person whose faith was strengthened by his repeated experience of God's favor when He patiently delivered the signs that Gideon wanted. Imagine the level of confidence that it took to convince 300 men to battle against thousands. Gideon was a weak personally, but I suggest to you that he looked VERY CONFIDENT to those he led.

Friends, it is hard to be humble, and stay humble, especially if you are a leader, but it is not impossible. When it comes to humility, God does look favorably on two kinds of leaders:

1. Truly humble people like Moses, whose humility was part of his character.

2. People who struggle with pride, but through obedience, PRACTICE humility.

The Bible reference today states that Moses was the most humble person on earth. Yet he is the acknowledged author of the very book and chapter that states this. Was that a lie? Was he like Don King, the famous boxing promoter who once touted his own immense humility? I think not. In fact, Moses challenged Pharaoh by speaking the following words of the Lord.

"How long will you refuse to humble yourself before me” (Exodus 10:3 ESV)? He also exhorted his own people by saying, "And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God had led you these forty years in the wilderness, that He might humble you ...” (Deut. 8:2  ESV). 

Moses' humility was authentic even though he exhorted those without it.

Choosing Humility

If you are a leader who struggles with pride, or if you have a worker who you are leading who struggles with pride, you, like Moses, can help both your follower and yourself. Choose to practice humility yourself and help those you lead practice it too.

Jesus taught that one should choose the least important chair at the wedding feast. He didn’t teach us this because he wanted to demean those with pride. No, he taught this so that those who are prideful could experience the blessing and honor that would come from someone asking them to take the more honorable chair and position at the banquet. Christ wanted prideful people to experience the joy of what a humble heart receives by the PRACTICE of humility! Christ wants to honor our efforts, even if our hearts are not in it!  

Friends, the more significant you become, the harder it will be to be humble. Prepare for battle. Be humble, and when that is hard to do, practice humility.

Leadership & Revenge

Romans 12:17-21 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Usually, I begin most of my teaching sessions with a self-examination in which I ask participants to think about their world views and the roots of their leadership practices. When we are honest with ourselves, it is interesting to consider what has shaped us. Indeed, I begin many seminars with by asking what draws us to the realm of leadership. All participants answer the same: power, position, fame and fortune.

For the last several years, one of the top rated shows on TV has been “The Apprentice.” When I watch it, I cannot help think about the lessons that this show is teaching about leadership. It is all about fighting your way to the top of the heap. To help combat this “teaching,” I draw a contrast between the life of Christ and contemporary leader Donald Trump. They are so different!

Quite some time ago, one seminar participant raised his hand and commented that Donald Trump did have some practices that we can learn from. I knew this person fairly well, and knew that he was a godly man, very dedicated to following Christ. Therefore, I will not forget this example of how evil philosophy gains access to the Christian’s life.

Christ’s Leadership Vs. Donald Trump’s Leadership

Trump could be that perfect example of a "wolf in sheep's clothing.” Find one or two practices of Donald Trump that can have a positive impact on your wealth and/or stature, and you will find yourself defending Donald Trump and unconsciously adopting more of his philosophy and practices.

Having seen enough of Trump's TV program, I wanted to see if Trump put in writing what I was seeing on TV. I proceeded to the book store and bought his book, Think Big and Kick Ass. It did not take me long to find that revenge was one of his core beliefs. In fact, he named and dedicated an entire chapter to it. Using a multitude of quotes and summary statements, he teaches revenge with instructions such as:

1. “That's why I say when you are wronged, go after those people, because it is a good feeling...I love it…
2. “When someone screws you, screw them back in spades.”
3. “Always have a good reason to get even.”
4. “Go for the jugular so that people watching will not want to mess with you.”

Forgive me if you feel I should be editing his title and language, but I leave it in its original form to prove a secondary point, that what you say and do greatly affects other leaders. Watch and listen to what governors and former presidents say and do; then tell me that your leadership has no influence on life and language? Forgive me, for I digress.
 

What the Bible Says About Revenge

Samson and Saul prayed earnestly for the Lord to grant them revenge against their enemies. First Samuel 18:25 says:

"Saul replied, ‘Say to David, The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’

If that was not in the Bible, you would accuse me of embellishing this article. Leaders, you will experience days when you will have an opportunity to get revenge. There will be other days when you just think about it.

Friends, don't do it. In fact, don't even enjoy the satisfaction of picturing what you would like to do! Furthermore, don't even withdraw from your enemies or from those that don't do as you wish. These more subtle and covert forms of revenge can come in several forms. You can:

1. Strategize against them.
2. Withdraw from speaking to them.
3. Withdraw from supporting them in their good endeavors.

Paul reminds us in the scripture today that God said, "It is mine to avenge.” As Christian leaders, let us leave that kind of judgment and punishment to Him. Our job is to not only love those who don't do as we wish, but also supply those who hurt us with act of kindness.

Our scripture today concludes with, "In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." The ultimate subtleness of revenge would be to find satisfaction in watching how your kindness torments those who have hurt you. However, we must acknowledge that only the Holy Spirit can bring conviction or guilt to the wrongdoer. While we might like to help, it’s important that we be intentional about repelling that most covert urge. When we repay evil with good, we need to do so with a true, good intent.

 Friends, every day we choose whose leadership we emulate. Please consider whose life your leadership most reflects. Please also consider the ideology and practices of who you follow or whose books you read. Consider if and how you have used revenge. Discard its use and enjoy the value of the absence of revenge, as well as the joy that brings to your team.

Is Your Leadership a Joke?

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according ot their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 1 Corinthians 4:2 Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.

I think God wants us to have fun and
laugh sometimes.

I am not sure how you feel, but I cannot imagine working in any business or ministry without some sort of humor peppered within the workday. When Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes that the whole duty of man was to fear God, obey His commands, and therefore find enjoyment in all his work, I think that had to include a bit of fun and laughter. I think laughter and joy are sisters.

However, can you recall a New Testament story that describes laughter? I cannot remember or find an instance where Jesus told a joke or where He intended to be funny. What conclusion, if any, can or should we glean from this? What did Paul mean in our verse above about unwholesome talk? Was he trying to teach us not to joke around?

Is Joking Unwholesome Talk?

I suspect that most of us can tell the difference between a "clean" joke and a "dirty" one. Is an "unwholesome" joke somewhere in between? Does an unwholesome joke need to contain slang—or cursing? Does it contain sexual content or connotation? How can Christians guard against using humor in ungodly ways? Does unwholesome talk refer only to humor? I suspect not. I believe it refers to everything that comes out of our mouth, everything that we type, and, yes, even things we forward through email.

Sometimes guarding mouths is worth the cost of getting a
laugh.

Guarding Our Mouths Against Unwholesome Talk

Over fifteen years ago, I was stopped by a traffic cop. He wrote me a ticket for what I believe even to this day was an unbelievable citation (too long to explain; you will have to trust me on this one). In my disgust with this man, I told him he "was a jerk" and that he was just trying to "be a tough guy.” I told him this to his face—several times.

That very night, I went to lead my small group. Trying to be a transparent leader, and with some remorse, I shared with my group the whole story, including the exact language I used. At the end of my "testimony" there was a bit of laughter, undoubtedly because I got away with saying to this cop what some of my small group might like to say themselves. After the laughter died down, one elderly group member said to me, "Ron, I cannot believe you said something like that,” and after a pause she pushed the dagger in deeper with her final lament: "You are our teacher.”

 "Leadership is a serious matter. It is no joke."

The disappointment in her voice made an indelible mark on my heart that I will never forget. If you re-read our second scripture verse, you’ll see that she had “entrusted me” as her teacher, yet my behavior was not as faithful as one entrusted with that title. That verse was highlighted in my own Bible. It then sprang from my own closed Bible into my brain, convicting me even more by my own yellow highlighter. I walked away from that small group meeting with more than one lesson learned.

Friends and leaders, watch your mouths, your words, and your mouse. People are watching and listening to us. Be careful with your humor, for this you can be sure of— leadership is a serious matter. It is no joke.


Photos courtesy of APDK and 2493.

What Was Your Last Temptation?

A short while ago, we installed three new deacons in our church. As these individuals were starting a new ministry in their lives, I decided to examine the beginning of Jesus’ ministry (Luke 4:1-13) in order pray more specifically for them and to see what challenges they might face as they too embarked on a road of Christian service. Through my reading, I was reminded of the direct link between the devil’s efforts and the beginning of Jesus’ main ministry. I could not help seeing the significance of this correlation, not only for the deacons but also for the lives of all Christians when they become leaders.

"I was reminded of the direct link between the devil’s efforts and the beginning of Jesus’ main ministry. I could not help seeing the significance of this correlation, not only for the deacons but also for the lives of all Christians when they become leaders."

No matter how unimportant you think you are,
the devil will try to tempt you too.

Although you might be prone to excuse the Christian leader in business from this kind of devilish temptation, I say not so fast. If you find yourself in a position to impact the kingdom, and you find the air you breathe supporting your kingdom purpose - please join the crowd; the amount of temptation you experience will exponentially increase when you are at the beginning any new ministry, whether it be overt through a ministry or under cover through your business. However, by examining Jesus’ example of dealing with temptation, we can become prepared to block the devil’s strikes against us.

What We Can Learn from Jesus’ Temptation

As you probably recall, Jesus experienced Satan’s tempting at the very beginning of his ministry, when he retreated into the desert. There, Satan focused his temptation on three areas.

1. Jesus’ Needs

2. Jesus’ Authority

3. Jesus’ Relationship with the Father

In each case, Satan repackaged a facet of Jesus’ life as a lure to temptation.

Repackaging: If temptation were obvious, it wouldn’t be such a challenge to overcome it. Satan doesn’t usually tempt us by showing us pictures of awful deeds that hurt God and our neighbors. Instead, he takes those awful deeds and wraps them in bright, attractive paper, repackaging them to look appealing so we fall for them.

Satan can repackage physical needs as temptations.

His Needs

After 40 days without food, the human side of Jesus was hungry. Satan repackaged that physical need by asking Jesus to change the stones into bread to prove who He was. Jesus could have rationalized this by saying, “There certainly should be nothing wrong with me turning these stones into bread, for I can do nothing for my Father if I am unhealthy.”

Sound familiar? Maybe you haven’t been trying to rationalize a food need, but how about some other need? How about a lavish vacation or new toy to help “restore” you from your work or the stress you find yourself in?  Jesus answered the devil and said, “Man does not live on bread alone,” proving that He knew the big picture and was not going to be tempted by a perceived need.  We need to have the wisdom to know the difference between our true needs and our hidden wants.

 
His Authority

Every Christian leader can expect to be tempted in the way that Christ was during this second temptation—manipulation by the devil. The devil will disguise his desire that you honor him by offering you something you think is useful and/or righteous. In Jesus’ case, he was ironically offering Christ a level of authority he already had. The devil knew this and was repackaging his offer to get Jesus to worship him. One of the lessons that we can learn from this passage is to examine what God has already blessed us with and determine if the devil is trying to use it against God.  God may have blessed a man with a brand new fishing boat, but the devil wants that very same boat to possess his extra time, keeping him on the lake and out of God’s house of worship.

His Relationship with the Father

The third way in which Christ was tempted was through Satan’s effort to break up His family. When the devil implored Christ to “throw [Himself] down” from the temple, he asked Jesus to do so in order to prove that he really was the “Son of God.” In other words, the devil engaged in a manipulation attempt by telling Christ that he needs to test and prove God’s love for him. Ironically, if Christ had jumped, he would have certainly been denying the Father. Since Jesus knew he could avoid being severely hurt or killed using his own power, His jumping would have simply been a test of His Father’s love, which was just what Satan wanted.

When we succumb to Satan’s manipulation by testing God, it sometimes shows a level of laziness. For example: It is easier to test God with caring for our health than to do our part in exercising and caring for ourselves. If we simply want God to care for our health because we are too lazy to be obedient and take the time to care for ourselves then God will tell us what Jesus told the devil in verse 12 of our scripture, “It is said, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’”

Unlike Gideon asking for signs to increase his faith, these kinds of tests are simply disrespectful and can cause a break in our relationship with God. On the Discovery Channel last week, I witnessed a bear track down a young deer. I watched the deer first being separated from his family, and then killed by the first bear bite to his neck. Friends, the devil goes for the neck. It is the blood supply path to the whole body.

Leaders are like necks, and the devil is going for you first.

Therefore, be careful my friends. Satan will repackage things to deceive you, so make sure you look beyond the wrapping and into the contents of each “delivery.”

Photos courtesy of iMaffo and Roger Imp.