My Apologies For Low Empathy

Acts 20:31  Therefore be alert, remembering that for three years I did not cease night or day to admonish everyone with tears."ESV

Empathy is: "the intellectual identification with vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another". Dictionary.com

Offering coaching myself led me to believe I should experience being coached myself, so some time ago I hired a professional coach. That is all he did and he was really good at it. After several sessions he complimented me about my own awareness of myself,  particularly my strengths and weaknesses. Evidently I should have been coached longer by this person since it may have exposed my lack of empathy for certain people a lot sooner.
 

At first glance, I see that I do have empathy for many people. When I heard on the news this morning that 16% of Americans are using and in need of food stamps, ... my heart grieved. When I hear the hurt of simple people who lack the ability to understand my heart grieves for them. When I go to Africa and see the hurt, the famine, the lack of what we have come to believe are needs, .. my heart cries out for them. So it is not like I was clueless and lacked a beating heart.

However, I have always known and understood that I lack a certain kind of grace for people I believe are smart, or through their education or experience, should know better.  As I type I could add a bit of satire and sarcasm by acknowledging that maybe the reason I lack empathy for smart people is because I am not that smart myself, therefore being unable to "intellectually identify" with them and their hurt. Ah, ... but that would just be an escape and excuse for my sin and put the onus on others for not having any empathy for me. Who knows, ... maybe there is nothing satiric about it.

For the most part what I lack can go unnoticed unless I say something unkind or if I challenge or admonish people I have categorized this way. Paul did not share my weakness or predicament. In one simple verse above he showed me what I need and what I find to be critical to my development and to any leader.

Friends and leaders, Paul cried for smart people that should have known better. He admonished and corrected godly people that he most likely had a part in choosing and ordaining in the church of Ephesus. Our scripture verse states he did this for years. He shed tears for the spiritually mature elders who were overseers, teachers, and most likely even the elders who pastoring the church. And ... he kept on shedding tears.

For eight years now I have had many opportunities to travel and teach leadership regionally, nationally and oversees. In those eight years I have challenged all kinds of leaders including some very prominent people, including James MacDonald. I thank the Lord I delivered that with a bit of empathy for him, since on his blog, he publicly acknowledge the noteworthiness of my point with him. But in my travels I am going to assume that I have not performed well with everyone, and I want to publicly apologize to anyone that still subscribes to this newsletter-blog that I have challenged with apparent lack of empathy. I ask for your forgiveness. 

Most teachers will tell you that God teaches the teacher before he can teach others. Today I only write what I have been taught first. It is my hope that through was God revealed to me, I can help other leaders just like me, who will never reach their full potential until they experience the delivery of empathy for everyone they lead, everyone they work along side of, and everyone that leads them.

In closing, may I ask if there is someone you have to shed a tear for today?  Is it a friend? Is it someone you don't agree with? ... a co-worker, a family member, a subordinate, your boss ... or your pastor?

How about committing to work with me today in developing an inner empathy, ... an empathy people will follow.