Is Manipulation Slowing You Down?

Psalm 32:2  Blessed is the man  whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. Proverbs 1:19 Such is the end of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the lives of those who get it.

In the last issue of TCL E-Leadership we focused on some reasons why it takes so long for godly vision to spread. We deferred the reference to vision that was impacted by bad behavior. In this issue we will explore one specific element of bad behavior, and that is manipulation. In fact, finding this element in leadership can mess up a lot more than the godly vision. It damages relationships and leaves a lasting impact. 

There are two distinct approaches in development and implementation of a vision. They are:

1. Godly strategic planning    

2. Manipulation 

Do you know the difference between the two approaches? The first one is hard to define, but almost everyone can affirm when it is taking place. When you leave meetings where Godly strategic planning has occurred, you are confident of the results of the meeting and have a general sense that the Holy Spirit was involved. When you leave meetings that have contained manipulation, you leave unsure of the outcome and without the confidence of others’ affirmations.

It is hard to define Godly strategic planning, but we know
when it happens, just like we know when God is moving
in other areas of our lives.

In my last two seminars I asked audience members to raise their hands if they had ever been manipulated, and, in both cases, the entire audience’s hands went up! I then asked how many of them knew they were being manipulated when it was occurring. Eighty percent of them raised their hands again!

I believe most of you that read this will agree. What is certainly amazing is that the people who use manipulation actually think that those they manipulate don’t know that they are being manipulated. However, it is possible that you may be manipulating others unintentionally and unknowingly.

Are You a Manipulator?

So how do you know if you are a user of manipulation? There are always two components present if you are manipulating.

1. A form of deceit

2. A benefit for you

Deceit comes in many fashions. Most of the time, you find deceit in the delivery of information. It is not a lie; it is just not the whole truth. It is not showing all of the expenses; it is hiding them in a bunch of pages. It is not telling a story about a person; it is holding back a portion of the story. 

Sometimes it may not be obvious to others that you are
benefiting from a manipulative action.

 The other element of manipulation is whether or not you are a significant benefactor of the vision or actions being considered. Sometimes how you benefit is overt and everyone can see it. But sometimes it is covert and only you know. Either way, the plans don’t feel right to the other members of the organization; it is hard to get any traction, and some wonder why.  There are always a few in the group that know exactly why, and that is because manipulation is taking place.

Now, please don’t be anxious, thinking that you cannot plan anything that you might benefit from because you might be accused of manipulation. A key requirement in manipulation is that deceit AND personal gain are BOTH present.

"Ask yourself if you are presenting the information in a complete and truthful light, and ask yourself if you are going to be a benefactor. If you find a potential problem with the information, just clean it up. If you are going to benefit from the action, then spell that out so everyone understands, and offer to talk about it openly."

The Manipulation Self-Test

To determine whether you are manipulating others, a simple self-test is all you need. Ask yourself if you are presenting the information in a complete and truthful light, and ask yourself if you are going to be a benefactor. If you find a potential problem with the information, just clean it up. If you are going to benefit from the action, then spell that out so everyone understands, and offer to talk about it openly.


Do you believe a righteous end justifies its means? A righteous end can really draw us into manipulating things. Friends, don’t do it. Over the long run it will always be what it was in the beginning—sin. Take note that every manipulator can deny being one. Deceit is so subtle, and motive is hidden in a person’s heart. But just because it cannot be proved does not make it any less of a reality, sinful and detrimental to the organization.

Try talking about this at your next meeting. Commit to eradicating the tool of manipulation from your methodology. You never know; it might speed things up!