Are You Lonely At the Top?

Psalm 102:2-3, 6-7 Do not hide your face from me in the day of my distress! Incline your ear to me; answer me speedily in the day when I call! For my days pass away like smoke, and my bones burn like a furnace. I am like a desert owl of the wilderness, like an owl of the waste places. I lie awake; I am like a lonely sparrow on the housetop.

Last week, I had the opportunity to speak with a pastor who shared with me a feeling that few people experience, a feeling that had to do with being a senior pastor. He explained that, you really don’t know how being in this position feels, until you are there.

The Loneliness at the Top

While I have not held the position of senior pastor, what he was trying to explain is something most leaders at the top, or near the top, feel. I have been the CEO of a small business for 15 years. I can talk to you all day long about the pressure and responsibilities of business ownership, but you will not know how it feels until you are the owner. And unless you are the owner, you won’t know what if feels like to meet a pay roll or to lay off good people during hard economic times. Everyone thinks the top is a grand place. No one really knows about the unpleasant details—unless they have been there.

Everyone thinks the top is a grand place. No one really knows about the unpleasant details—unless they have been there.

I believe that our scripture reference today exposes what all of us at the top feel from time to time, and that is loneliness. How many times during your life at the top have you felt like you were a desert owl? When you look down from your perch, do you feel like a lonely sparrow? I have from time to time. In fact, I have even felt this way recently.

By Helping Others We Help Ourselves

 

Those of us at or near the top of our organizations need to help and encourage others who are at the top of theirs. By God's grace, I have been able to help others even in the midst of  my own loneliness. Read the following message I received this month (which I have permission to share with you.

Ron, 
As I think about the past few months since 'meeting you' on-line, experiencing the leadership assessment and personal coaching as a leader who works with leaders, and those who will, these thoughts come to mind. 

For some strange reason, loneliness seems to be a part of leadership. Certainly it has been a part of my experience as leader in a wide variety of situations. Recently, in a time of questioning my role, my value a church-staff person, of wondering HOW I could be of real help to my new context as Coordinator of Leadership Development, of feeling somehow disconnected from the heart of things in a new congregation, I stumbled one night upon TheChristianleader.org.

  I really expected no or little response to my query, but you responded quickly and allowed me to speak, even pour out my heart. The resulting Personal Assessment was interesting and helpful to me.   The coaching times helped me see my value to our present church situation.

The results are unfolding, to be sure, and there is a level of excitement and joy, even anticipation of more to come, as we mentor leaders to tackle new horizons. It’s great to be affirmed in your calling and learn once again that what the Lord Jesus spoke into your life has not changed. 'Feed my sheep, tend my lambs.'  He still means to use the gifts He has given, for the good of all. 

And it is even a greater JOY to affirm others!

P. Allison
Nova Scotia, Canada

Are you lonely as a leader? Sometimes the best thing you can do to fight that loneliness is to help someone else who is also lonely at the top.